By Mideno Bayagbon
I have been laughing and laughing since some members of the National Assembly came out, to disturb our anxiety filled lives, singing: “All we are saying, Buhari must go!” First the shock. Then the laughter. Seeing them in their rich designer and expensive flowing native wears, donned over their lush, glowing bodies and them forming Aluta continua, I couldn’t help but fall down laughing, uncontrollably. I couldn’t believe that these people who are the most insulated from Nigerian reality, the best paid legislators in the world, have been stung by some failings of the Buhari government and suddenly they are all behaving like an earlier-life Adams Oshiomhole.
They say President Muhammadu Buhari must go, and in fact threaten to impeach him in five weeks, if the cocoon of security which made the nation’s capital, Abuja, their most cherished and preferred haven, is not restored. Well known is the fact that Abuja was seemingly protected from the chronic insecurity which the rest of the country has been battling with since the incompetent government of President Buhari assumed the saddle of leadership of the country. Abuja is the city to which every Senator, House of Representative member, those who have been Governors, Ministers, Commissioners, local government chairmen and so on, make their preferred abode once they taste the beauty of Abuja and the swirling corruption that funds it.
Abuja is the city of dreams. The only city which NIgeria can boast off in the comity of nation. It is the only city which matches the rest of the world in beauty and serenity. In deed, four years ago, I wrote an article: Abuja is not Nigeria. In it I showcased the shock and wonder of a Septuagenerian who was visiting Abuja for the first time. He kept asking: is this Nigeria? The roads in the city are wide, well paved, beautifully marked, spotless. No gullies or potholes. The city of estates is populated by magnificent edifices, big, bold, beautiful, well crafted, no luxury sparing mansions. Abuja is the life. In terms of security, quality of life and all the trappings of the good life, Abuja for all the men and women of power, is the real deal.
Moreso, Abuja, in the last seven years too, has become the city of refuge for the Northern rich. As the deliberate incompetence of the Buhari government collaborates with some hidden radical Islamic hands to foment terrorism, first across the North East and North Central and eventually the North West, ALL the Who is Who in the north quickly, but quietly, relocated their valued relatives: wives, children, parents to the comfort and safety of Abuja, the security Eldorado of NIgeria. That is, apart from those who believe that even Abuja is not good enough, so sent their loved ones to the United Arab Emirates, especially Dubai, Lebanon, Qatar, Istanbul, etc. Others flooded Europe, especially the United Kingdom with their children and wives. Like their colleagues in the South, no Nigerian university is good enough for their offsprings.
Abuja before now was also the political capital of most Northern States. Most Northern Governors administer their states from Abuja. They only pay their respective state government houses a visit, once or twice a month. And that, when Abuja has shared the nation’s monthly largese, FAC. As for the governors from the South, all have, not just their liaison offices, but also palatial Governor’s lodges in Asokoro, Abuja. There is no true Nigerian governor, past and present, who does not have his personal mansions, reeking of every possible luxury in Asokoro, Asokoro extension, Maitama, Ministers Hill or even the fast rising Katampe area.
Most legislators too, past and present, have keyed into the Abuja dream. The lucky ones during the Obasanjo era bought their allocated legislative quarters for peanuts. Since then, a major objective of every legislator is to own their own piece of Abuja state of the art mansions. Their own haven from the constituents they claim to represent. Next to buying mansions abroad, and sending their children to get the golden fleece in the best universities in Europe and the Americas, this is a realisable dream target. Constituency votes and “over sight” functions see to it.
Then, “suddenly”, the impossible is happening in Abuja. The cloak shielding Abuja, it appears, has been removed. It now lays naked; ungoverned, the playfield of sundry terrorists and bandits. Fear has descended on the once peaceful city, spreading its tentacles into the deepest crevices of power. The dread of bombs and rapid fire automatic weapons, in the wrong hands, has visited the city. Asokoro can no longer be distinguished from Abuja-Kano expressway; or from any of the troubled cities and towns in the nation. With impunity, Islamic terrorists, bandits, kidnappers and sundry other criminals roam the city and maim and destroy and kill unchallenged just like they have been doing, contemptuously, all over the nation. To imagine the impunity, the audacity of it all!
The unthinkable has descended on the city of wanton pleasure, the seat of corruption. The powerful and the dregs of the earth now inhabit one universe of fear. Even Aso Rock, the most protected den in Nigeria, is catching cold, seemingly helpless to the threat of the terrorists. They have boasted that they will kidnap the President and have backed up their threat with attacks on the brigade of guards, Kuje Prison jailbreak; attack on soldiers with impunity in the city and so forth. In their delusion, the terrorists think they are on the road to replicating Afghanistan in Abuja. They are buoyed by the tepid response of the military, and the fear factor which they have unleashed. But las, las, like we say in this clime, monkey go go market and dem go buy am.
The South Western people, the Yorubas, have a saying: Oro buruku pelerin: which translates to something like: covering your fears, in the face of catastrophic news, with laughter; or forced laughter in the face of danger. Or something to that effect. The impeachment threat brought to mind one Mexican Telemundo series Nigerian women used to love so much: The Rich Also Cry! The protesting Senators looked so comical. I could only summarise their theatrical display as self-inflicted entitlement mentality.
Just because insecurity has finally had a foothold on their doorsteps they have rushed into a panic mood and now pretend to care and do what they have not been doing for the past seven years: keep Buhari and his government accountable and on their toes.
What level of selfishness will make our law makers ignore the 7,222 innocent Nigerians whose blood has been carelessly shed in the first seven months of this year and with over 3822 kidnapped? Where were they?
Where were they when Boko Haram, ISWAP and sundry other terrorists groups held the nation by the jugular? Where were they when kidnappers and other criminals made interconnecting Nigerian roads, an oil block of ransom and death? Where were they when victims of Abuja-Kaduna train kidnap victims were tortured into paying N100 million each? Apart from evacuating their immediate families from the hotspots what have they done as every inch of the country is turned into a conundrum of death; a death trap?
Where were they when imported Fulanis from all over West Africa were being shipped into the country and ferried into the South and North Central, empowered with “Okadas”, “Keke Napeps”, camouflaged and distributed as sleeper cells across the nation? Where were they when Fulani herdsmen destroyed farming businesses across the country maiming, raping and killing farmers at will? Is it because the threat is now at their doorsteps? Na today yansh dey for back that they now want to impeach the president? Is it now they know that the president and some critical inner cabinet members have an open agenda?
Nevertheless, as we laugh through our tears, it is indeed gladdening that the Senators and the men of power in Aso Rock feel a pinch of what other Nigerians have been suffering in the last seven years.
