It has been a pain on my heart for a while now seeing all over social media the story of the Bank Executive that begot kids from a woman married to another man while the woman was still living with her husband. To add salt to the injury the picture of the innocent children are being flashed all over the internet. It is absolutely wrong and an abuse of these children’s right to their privacy, and to their dignity.
Most importantly, these children deserve not to have their emotional health tampered with. One can only wonder on what goes on in the minds of those two kids by now. Particular attention must be paid to those children with particular reference to their mental, emotional and psychological wellbeing. The worrisome aspect is that anywhere they find themselves, be it in church or at school they are bound to be taunted at. They may start dreading going out and associating with people.
The price children pay for the misconduct of the adults!
Their mother has a great job at hand to do in ensuring their mental good health. Those children must not lose their sanity. They must not.
This particular paternity scandal reminds me of that of Musa. I had to revisit the story to reassure myself that I am right when I say that it is the children that suffer the sin of paternity scandal. It destroys them, to put it simply. Parents must always consider their decisions and actions bearing in mind that their decisions and actions have consequences; most times long lasting and irreversible bad consequences on the children.
We must learn a lesson from the story of Musa. Musa is a survivor of a paternity battle. He is the product of a love affair between a one-time Nigeria’s Head of State who was at civil war, and at the same time uncontrollably in love with a pretty lady from the enemy camp. Sensing the danger as the affair was being turned into national problem, the young lady escaped and went beyond the shores of Nigeria only to discover that she was pregnant. As if being at war makes a man celibate even while cohabiting with a lover, the paternity of the child became an issue.
Musa, the product of this love affair, became devastated over the paternity denial. One can guess right that his childhood must have been that filled with emotional trauma. There he was fatherless yet with a powerful father alive. As expected, emotionally drained and broken Musa sought and got solace with bad company. He was later to bag 40 years in jail for drug related offence.
At the prison, Musa was exemplary in good conduct. He obtained law degree from the prison. After spending 20 years in jail with excellent conduct , Musa got a parole from former President Barack Obama.
On getting out of prison, Musa went straight for a court order mandating DNA test. With the court order, the former Head of State had to submit to DNA test, and the result showed that our dear former Head of State is actually Musa’s father thereby vindicating the mother who is now late. That is, of course, after 48 years of emotional agony for Musa.
The public statement from General Gown (Rtd) in 2016 that he had finally accepted Musa’s paternity, 48 years after, serves only to vindicate late Edith Ike-Okongwu, and nothing more. The effect of the paternity warfare on Musa is irreversible.
What would compensate for his wasted and traumatized childhood? What would compensate for all the taunts, all the scorn, and all the abuses he received for no fault of his? Musa would have been greater if he was not left to bear the brunt of adult’s misconduct. One who could discipline himself to read and obtain a degree in law behind bars despite all odds is a man meant for greatness!
No child has ever asked to be born. No child has ever dictated the circumstance under which he should be born. No child has ever requested for who his father or mother should be.
Adults, parents! Watch your decisions, actions and inactions as they are bound to rob off on the children.