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By Mideno Bayagbon
(mideno@thenewsguru.com)
Her decision to quit our class WhatsApp forum was so shocking, that most members were left nonplussed, dumbfounded and searching for answers. She was and is still the life of the class: naughty, full of mischief; witty, sarcastic, caustic and one who could take a hard punch in the face in the form of a joke, and retaliate with devastating tons of iconic humour. We call her our DG for affidavits being the only one who remembers each member’s birthday and who in her usual manner would award a ridiculous age to each and every one, in hilarious mischief. You can be 37years old this year, if in her estimation, you have been a good boy or girl; and be 90years old the next birthday! We, on such occasion, call her “winch!” Of course, behind her back! Only few of us dare call this outstanding lady with a golden heart “winch” to her face.
Take the instance of these two posts at her naughtiest best: “Next year, I ll state exactly how old Yusuf is. I ll go through all his affidavits thoroughly and get him to swear somewhere; I suspect he is almost 80. I remember that he had grey hair at Jackson Building. No amount of money will stop me.”
And ….“Victoria was 35 last birthday and she will be 31 on her next birthday. I m working furiously on her documents.” This for someone who is close to 60!
In this class where almost everyone should be and some are indeed grandpas and grandmas, the camaraderie is infectious. In our forum, no one has ever grown beyond those four years, long ago that we spent together at Nsukka. In this class full of billionaires, professors, top executives and senior civil servants, some of whom have retired, it is a forum of our youth. The place where our school nicknames and yabis are the order of the day. It is the place we not only tug on to our youthful past, but also renew it. It is our place of laughter, a sanctuary to di-stress.
So you can imagine when she decided to hit us all in the face. Surprise, surprise. She simply, uncharacteristically dropped a note and exited the forum. It was as if she died. Shock. Gloom. Unanswered questions poured in in torrents. Why? Why? we all screamed. But her note said it all. She earlier dropped a hint which didn’t quite hit home: “Is it possible to leave out the 2023 elections from our discussions? Can we create a new platform like Freedom Square for that?”
All she got were silence and more divisive political posts. Then she threw in the bomb: “….(my) spirit left the group,” she wrote and tried providing some explanations: “I try these days to ensure my physical and mental well being and won’t think twice about jettisoning anything that will threaten my peace. Many here didn’t lose as much as I did during the war. Most will never understand what it took to still be here after that war. A lot of us won’t know why I often hated that my mother resisted when my dead father appeared in a dream and demanded to go away with his malnourished children. I don’t see these things like many here. My spirit has left here and any other space plaguing my peace. It will return after 2023. …will be in charge of affidavits henceforth.”
Badi Gal, as I call her, was, like majority of members of the class, fed up with the divisiveness and the enmity the strident and uncompromising positions those who have pitched their tents with one presidential candidate or the other are afflicting the class with. It was as if the devil himself had sneaked in, pitched tent, stubbornly, in our class WhatsApp group. Caution has gone with outpouring of emotive outbursts. Laughter and camaraderie, the conjugating seal of the class have taken flight as the gods of ObIdient, BATification and ATIKUlating parked their Ukraine vs Russia war arsenals on the class’ “door mouth”.
Nevertheless, It took all of us bombarding our DG Affidavit’s phone and pledging to be of good behaviour and most importantly, to stop posting all divisive political posts, to persuade her to change her mind. But her finger is still on the exit button, her left eye peeping to see who would dare post annoying political posts on the platform.
As it turned out, the experience of my classmates is not unique. From discussions with friends, colleagues and family, the entire country, at least among the elites and those described as digital natives on the social media, is in the vice grip of this new demon. Friends are tearing themselves apart, families are embroiled in needless altercations, no longer seeing eye to eye on any political issue. And the language: abusive, abrasive and abhorrent.
It is clear that we, Nigerians, are one of, if not the most, obdurate set of humans on planet earth. Every group of Nigerians, wherever they gather, are united by one thing: poisoned positions on the coming 2023 presidential elections. We are very dogmatic and very vociferous about our support for the candidate of our choice. We strive to ram this down the throats of our “listeners” with a stance that only our choice is correct and every other persons’ wrong.
Painfully, for most of these gladiators, logic and our lived-reality is not the basis of their convictions. We concoct lies and propagate them as gospel truths which others must swallow without questioning. We browbeat and use every conceivable gimmick to try to paint the other candidates in devil’s regalia. We manufacture lies and use them to try and pitch Nigerians against themselves. Others respond with equal venom and untruths. Take the case of my friend, Sam Omatseye, an otherwise good writer who out of loyalty to his benefactor tried to paint the Peter Obi campaign as an IPOB campaign, the Igbos as a never to be trusted group of Nigerians. All sane Nigerians could only wonder what would drive an otherwise respected intellectual into the cesspit of atrocious hate speech.
What for example drives some of those who claim OBIdience to the Labour Party candidate into the asinine and very annoying insults and threats, against anyone who does not agree that Peter Obi is the messiah Nigeria needs now? They are toeing the notorious path Buharideens, those social media rats who attacked and insulted whoever was in disagreement with President Muhammadu Buhari, perfected and used in haranguing the rest of Nigerians. Those who say they are Atikulated are also not left out. It is bedlam out there in the social media and even in regular interaction platforms.
They are all drumming war songs, preaching ethnic and regional satanic verses that could tilt the coming elections into a fratricidal warfare. The traumatised economy, the serious security problems bedevilling the people; the historically high unemployment and under employment rates hovering around 70 percent are forgotten in their bid to sell their candidates. Yet none of these candidates has come out with concrete plans of how they intend to salvage the economy, end terrorism and generally restore a sense of security, equity and social justice in the nation. None has convinced us that they can end the haemorrhage, and stop Nigeria from tipping over the precipice.
I have since stopped visiting groups whose past time is the attack and counter attack of people of opposing political views. That is my own way of maintaining my sanity. It is a shame really. Those who should be in the forefront of agitating for a better Nigeria and scrutinising those who are asking for our votes are the same people who are obfuscating the issues, muddling the pool and hurling insults at themselves. How the politicians must be having a good laugh at our expense.
Truth told, with the attitude of these class of Nigerians, don’t be surprised if a candidate worse than Buhari is declared elected as President next year. But then can any of these candidates ever be worse than President Buhari?