By Francis Ewherido
First, a former classmate, Juanita, posted it on our Whatsapp platform. It sounded like fiction until I read the full story in Daily Sun. I will refrain from mentioning the names of all the actors involved because they are already too traumatised. But the story is: a man lost his daughter shortly after she gave birth, but the baby survived. He then sent his wife to take care of the baby in the son-in-law’s house. One thing led to the other and the son-in-law impregnated his step-mother-in-law (May be we should remove “step” and simply say mother-in-law, because “step” diminishes the enormity of the deed). Now Juanita is asking who is to blame. The father-in-law, who sent his young pretty wife to stay with the son-in-law; the son-in-law, the wife, the devil or the wicked cold weather that preceded the commencement of the affair. Another former classmate, Victoria Onwubiko, placed the blame squarely on the doorstep of the father-in-law and I agree with her totally.
The father-in-law is apparently a kind man, but he is also unbelievably naïve. How could he send his young wife to live with his son-in-law for seven months? If his daughter was still alive, I would understand. But his daughter was dead and his wife was practically home alone with his son-in-law! How can you leave a goat with a lion, even if the lion is currently stuffed with food? Surely, it is going to be hungry at some point and devour the goat. In nine out of 10 cases, the outcome would have been the same: mother-in-law and son-in-law would have become lovers. Many people have travelled this road with dire consequences.
Some years ago, the fiancée of a guy was posted to another state, where his cousin lived, for youth service. Her secondary place of assignment did not give her an accommodation. Her fiancé told her to move in with his cousin, who was a bachelor! Before long they become lovers. Today, they are husband and wife, while the ensuing family feud from the betrayal festers. The truth is, man and woman are magnet and iron. Bring them close, give them privacy and they will cling together. That is nature; it is no respecter of position, status or morality.
The son-in-law said that the first time they had sex, it had rained heavily the previous night and it was bitterly cold. When he went into the room to check his baby, his mother-in-law was wearing a see-through lingerie with nothing underneath. He wanted to shut the door, but she invited him in. He hesitated, but she pulled him in. It was at that point he lost the opportunity to save himself from the nightmare he is currently enmeshed in. He has probably not read or imbibed the story of Joseph and Potiphar’s wife. He should have fled never to return. He should have insisted that the mother-in-law left with the baby to nurse him in her own abode. That should have been the arrangement ab initio. Once he tarried, beholding the mother-in-law’s firm and erect breasts and naked body, he stood no chance. Very few men, apart from eunuchs, stand any chance in such circumstances. That was why eunuchs watched over the harem of kings and nobles in those days. I learnt it is still happening in some cultures. Men are “video.” They get aroused and transfixed by the sight of naked women, whether real or in pictures. What do you think the addiction to pornography by many men is all about?
Sometimes, I find the whole idea of omugwo (grandmothers going to their children’s homes to help their daughters/daughters-in-law, who just had babies) very unappealing. These days, some grandmas in their 40s, 50s and even 60s are still very stunning. They have the looks to make the groins of their sons-in-law stir, especially since their wives are unavailable due to recovery from childbirth, especially caesarean. If you are married to one of such stunning grandmas, you better be sure of what you are doing before allowing your wife to go and do omugwo. Surely, your son-in-law is younger and more likely to offer superior performance. I have always loved humanity, but I have no confidence in humanity when it comes to matters of the flesh. Like Apostle Paul, I have no confidence in the flesh. If you want to stay out of trouble, treat the flesh with suspicion.
As for the mother-in-law, she has been married for 10 years and made multiple, but futile, efforts to be pregnant. It was inevitable she was going to try out her son-in-law, especially given the length of time (seven months) they were together. She should not have allowed emotions to boil over. She should have spared herself and her son-in-law this embarrassment. But fleshly matters do not work that way. She was desperate and determined; these are a dangerous combination. But at least, she is now pregnant. It is now obvious that there was nothing medically wrong with her. She will soon hear the cry of her own baby; that is what she has yearned for in the past decade. I totally support her keeping the pregnancy; the baby must not be punished for what he/she knows nothing about.
The father-in-law is apparently very bitter and it is understandable. He does not want to have anything to do with the woman anymore. I cannot question his decision, but maybe when his anger simmers, he will have a rethink. Time is a great healer. Whatever actions he takes, he must not do anything that will make him run afoul of the law. That will be adding insult to injury. I am also just wondering why the man could not impregnate his second wife. Is his late daughter actually his? May be needs to do a DNA on the grandson to be sure. You never know.
As for the son-in-law, he must learn to live with the trauma and shame and come to terms with the consequences of his action. He is going to be a father for the second time soon. He must support his soon-to-be-mother-of-his-child mother-in-law. He must live to face his responsibility. Pounding and impregnating a woman only means you are a male, not a man. A man is someone, who faces his responsibilities even in the face of adversity. He must be a man.
What has happened can be your story if you let down your guards. This is not the first time sons-in-law are sleeping with mothers-in-law. There are many animals in the bush. Like the trapped bush meat, this one was only unfortunate to be caught. If you are involved in this sacrilege, stop it today. If not, you will be caught and a worse yawa (disgrace) probably awaits you. For husbands, look well before you allow your wife to go and do omugwo, if she still looks sweet 16. I don talk my own o!