By Amarachi Favour
The girl child is the most vulnerable yet venerable gender. Just as they are honored, celebrated, adored, for their strength and support in womanhood, they are as well criticised, looked down upon, seen as second class citizens in some African cultures. Their birth brings joy in some homes while to some, if there is no presence of a male gender as a child, the family is tagged “the home of girls”. Regardless of this misconception, every child is unique in their own way. The girl child is faced with the challenge of having to grow in modest manner in terms of attitudes, morals, home management, career wise and so on. This to a large extent forms how their upbringing is tailored. Strict measures are placed on them than their male counterparts. Having gone through these processes in childhood, they are faced with the reality of their magic moment.
The girls’ magic moment is an exciting, pleasurable, enthusiastic, moment full of freedom yet a moment they are exposed to the realities of life. This moment is characterised by a lot of changes ranging from:
M: Menarche/Misconception
A: Admiration and attraction
G: Go-getting
I: Independence
C: Comportment
Menarche/Misconception: The period of their first menstruation comes with a lot of confusion, worries and uncertainty as some are faced with irregularity in their menstrual cycle and psychological effects such as mood swings and abdominal pains – cramps, excessive bleeding and so on. At this stage, they are faced with having little or no knowledge on how to trace and follow up with the accurate calculation of their menstrual cycle. Thus, bringing about anxiety on what to expect afterwards. In the case of irregularity in their monthly flow, they also become scared of pregnancy or infection but all these might be as a result of the changes the body is experiencing during this stage which will take time to adjust to the recent development. They are also faced with the mental questioning of how to go about it, and the consciousness to avoid teenage pregnancy is enacted.
Admiration and Attraction: This moment is a precarious one. If not checked, they may be distracted and confused by the excitement and ecstasy of the gradual change and growth(physical appearance) they are experiencing in this phase of their lives. A lot of them become overwhelmed while just a few are able to marry everything going on around them simultaneously and still focus on their goals. It takes the grace of God, good parenting and self control to surpass this phase. Take for instance:
Dating: this stage, they are fully exposed to being attracted to the opposite sex due to the secretion of sex hormones (oestrogen, progesterone) which is part of the changes they experience as teenagers. It is bound to happen naturally. I, as a teenage coach, usually make them understand that it is natural for them to feel so but one thing they need to know is that it causes distraction. Therefore, they should not be disillusioned. A lot is taken into consideration and involved during dating such as constant urge to spend more time privately together, chatting online, having fun with such person which in most case can get them indulge in romance and sexual activity. Girls in particular need to be extra cautious because they are prone to being vulnerable and emotional.
Go-getting: one aspect of every man’s existence is being goal driven and to be a go-getter. The girl child is made to realise at this moment of their lives to choose wisely and pursue their dream career by setting goals and following it through. Notwithstanding, they are trained to combine home management ( cooking, doing laundry properly, washing the dishes, keeping their environment clean and so on) and academics. This might amount to pressure but it tends to build, prepare, make them focused and goal-oriented which will ultimately define their personality as they journey through their moments into adulthood.
Independence: this is a significant and major attribute that every teenager craves and exhibits. This moment for the girl child occurs spontaneously. It is inherent in them to strap toys as a way of exhibiting the sense of responsibility of family life and care but the boys are wired differently. This fully reflects in their moment as the sense of responsibility and expectations begin to manifest alongside the changes they experience – menarche and self awareness.
Comportment: there is something significant about the carriage of every teenage girl. Though it varies among them as a result of exposure, family background and the environment they find themselves, but the quintessential thing is the consciousness and self awareness of whom they are transcending into (womanhood) after this phase which culminates the overall perspective of how they perceive and project themselves. The teenage girl views herself and her body as someone/thing that is fragile; hence, she needs care and protection which in turn makes her conscious and cautious as this is part of the notion and upbringing she is made to believe and go through as she journeys in life. They are restricted to some certain things and are taught to be reserved and laconic. This is evident in some utterances such as “behave like a girl”, “don’t you know that you are a girl”? and many more. Gradually, this perception forms the consciousness of comportment in them which reflects in their carriage.
All of the following stated attributes characterised as their magic moment cannot be achieved without adequate supervision and guidance from parents/guardians and adults surrounding them as the teenage stage for girls can be a tricky stage to navigate since adolescents are simultaneously treated as both children and adults. In other to achieve this, the girl child in her moment needs to be:
Properly monitored
Encouraged to take up extracurricular activities that she likes which will help her unwind while building focus on her goals.
Personal hygiene should be communicated to them often as this will help them during their menarche.
Enlighten them on sex education – noting that they need to be more logical than being emotional so as to avoid being vulnerable.
Promote healthy relationship among friends including the opposite gender.
The girls’ magic moment can be a difficult or quite taxing moment for the teenage girl and parents /guardians to navigate but it can be easily achieved through observance and open communication as they journey through this life changing phase into womanhood.