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By Francis Ewherido
Today is Children’s Day. I wish our children a happy Children’s Day. While these children are on my mind, they are not my subject of interest today.
Rather, my focus today is on another set of “children,” the young adults. I get amused while passing through some neighbourhoods.
I see bare-bodied young men walking in the streets, parading their well-chiseled bodies. I always say to myself, I hope these guys are also building their mental muscles. I do not know what goes on in their minds that make them walk the streets in daylight half naked.
I have never asked, but I hope they are not fixated on the illusory assumption of the kind of man women want. In my teenage years, we were misled into the same illusion: Tall, handsome, muscle-bound with six ridges (albs), etc. As I grew older, especially when I got to into the university, I became confused. I saw “ugly” lecturers and professors, some of whom were barely five feet, married to tall, stunning beauties.
What increased my shock and confusion was that “shorter men/taller wives” unions were not as common in the Urhobo-speaking part of Bendel State (present day Edo and Delta States) that I was coming from. Then the inquisition started, how come these short men are marrying tall, beautiful women. How do “ugly” men attract beautiful women?
Then the scales fell off my eyes. Women might DESIRE tall men, muscled men, charming and handsome men, but what a woman NEEDS is a young man who has prospects, a young man with focus and purpose, a man who provides economic security; a man who is humble and yet self-assured, a man who is intelligent and knowledgeable, a man who can be a good husband to her and a good father to the children; a man who offers peace of mind. These qualities thrash height, muscles and good looks.
To these tall, handsome youths with drop dead physique, I have an advice for you. You better build your mental muscles too, if not, you might end up being bouncers and bodyguards to these short, fat or/and “ugly” men. I am not denigrating bouncers and bodyguards, they are honourable and noble people.
But sooner or later, younger and more capable men will emerge and replace them and they will be in the labour market, except they develop their mental muscles and move on to other things, for instance, running a security company, which provides security guards to companies and VIPs. But you also need mental muscles to run a successful business.
If you take to sports or modelling, you might not excel unless you also build your mental muscles. When you watch Messi, Ronaldo, Iniesta and Ozil play ball, you realize there is something called “footballing brain.” I have more advice for you. If you do not develop your mental muscles, the later part of your lives might be miserable.
You might face an uncertain future because physical muscles do not last a lifetime, but mental muscles do, all other things being equal. If in doubt ask 69-year-old Arnold Schwarzenegger, then tell him to remove his shirt. Schwarzenegger won the Mr. Universe contest at age 20 and went on win Mr. Olympia seven times, but the muscles are all gone and those victories are now distant memories.
See how Wikipedia described him: “Arnold Alois Schwarzenegger…is an Austrian-American actor, producer, businessman, investor, author, philanthropist, activist, politician and former professional bodybuilder.” “Former professional bodybuilder” came last in the description. Our world lives in the present; do not be caught in the trap of ex this and ex that. Live your life in the present, not on past achievements. That is another lesson for the youths.
Do you know how Schwarzenegger was able to graduate from body building to other things? In his prime Schwarzenegger was the ultimate muscle man, but he was intelligent enough to know that physical muscles are ephemeral and mental muscles are more enduring, so he developed his mental muscles.
His physical muscles have collapsed, but his mental muscles live on and are getting better. But for the US constitution, which bars him from contesting the US presidency, because he is a naturalized America, he would have vied for and probably become an American President by now.
Other muscle men like Mike Tyson and Evander Holyfield, who did not learn this valuable lesson early enough paid dearly for it. Holyfield is currently worth $500,000, while Tyson is worth $3m.
Tyson made over $300 in prize money alone and Holyfield, over $150m, minus endorsements and other earnings, during their fighting careers! Meanwhile Michael Jordan, another muscle man, whose total salaries during his illustrious career is $90,235,000 (another source says $94m) is currently worth $1.3b.
Jordan conquered the world of basketball and is now conquering the world of business, because he also developed his mental muscles. The same cannot be said of Dennis Rodman, another basketball great and contemporary of Jordan. His net worth is negative $1m. Meanwhile, he made about $30m in contract earnings alone during his playing career
These young muscle men have plenty of literature to guide them. No doubt they do have great bodies, which many of us with sagging and flabby bodies wished we had, but they should not be carried away; they are limited with physical muscles without mental muscles. Those of them reveling in their gigolo status should also know they are time-bound. By the time they are in their forties, their patronesses will replace them with younger blood.
For the children celebrating today, get your bearings right early. It will do you a world of good. Happy Children’s Day once more